Friday, January 29, 2010

A New Blog, Dirty Snow, and Tangents, Both Conversational and Mathematical

Hey guys! I just want to let everyone know that from now on, this blog site will be dedicated (for the most part) to non-political topics. I say “for the most part” because, since I run this blog, I can do anything I want with it. I do not claim to have psychic powers. A lack of psychic powers or tachyon receptors in my head means I am unable to predict which future is most likely to occur, which means I may change my mind and post a political post, especially if I think it is amusing or comical. However, for the most part, any political statements I may want to make or any articles that I write will be posted on my new blog, http://ryannormandinpolitics.blogspot.com. Be sure to check it out so you can vote Normandin in a few years.

In the meantime, here’s something that someone said that you’re all invited to think about. “Why is the snow so pretty when it’s falling, but so dirty once it hits the ground?” I don’t want you to think about it in terms of snow. After all, it’s dirty when it hits the ground because the ground’s dirty. I do realize that, I’m not a complete moron. But when I read that, I was like, wow… that seems like it should have some deep philosophical meaning. And I pondered it for a total of about 13 seconds while I was eating a turkey sub before deciding to turn my attention to more pressing issues. Like the fact that I was thirsty. Did you know, by the way, that in some countries, like Italy, 13 is a lucky number and 17 is unlucky? Either that or 7 is unlucky… or maybe it’s 3… I don’t remember, but the point is that 13 is considered lucky. How odd. However, this is pretty good scientific evidence that luck doesn’t exist. After all, just as a particle cannot have a spin of both +1/2 and –1/2 at the same time, just as you cannot know the momentum and position of a particle at the same time, just as the Jonas Brothers can’t actually play guitar and sing at the same time (or at separate times, for that matter), just as I cannot fit an entire apple and an entire banana in my mouth at the same time, 13 cannot be lucky and unlucky at the same time. I hope my creative and vivid metaphors helped your understanding of something that probably did not merit 2 lines of explanation.

It seems that I’ve wandered slightly off-topic. I tend to do that. It’s commonly referred to as “going on a tangent.” The reason I believe this phrase is used is because a tangent line touches a circle at a single point, and when one goes on a tangent, it is a completely unrelated topic that actually was related, but only slightly at a single point. How interesting. And look, I’ve done it again. This is actually intentional. I think it makes this more interesting to read. After all, if I just went directly to the point, there would be very little entertainment value in reading this. Which is what I’m aiming for.

So to return to the point on the circle that the tangent line touches, you should all figure out the philosophical meaning behind that phrase. Don’t bother googling it, the statement was an observation, not some wise quote. Although these, of course, are not mutually exclusive. But its being a wise quote is contingent on there actually being a deep philosophical meaning behind it, which I’m not sure there is. But my instincts are telling me that there is, and my instincts also tell me to duck if a knife is thrown at me, not to attempt breathing underwater, and to always, always eat lots of chocolate. So clearly, my instincts are usually correct. So, if they are correct, that means that there is a deep philosophical meaning behind the phrase in Paragraph 2. The question that I ask, just as you would ask if you saw a pink lemur hovering approximately 3 feet and 4 inches off the ground, covered in cheese, with a radiant rainbow xylophone, is: what is it? Then again, maybe you wouldn’t ask that because I just told you exactly what it was. Regardless, ponder the quote. Pondering is good for the mind. Just like water is good for people dying of dehydration.

1 comment:

  1. Allow me to point out that you are being lied to. This video was NOT posted at 1:06 AM, it was posted at about 4:08 AM. Silly Blogger.

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